New York PULSE 's 2006年終大回顧

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75 Things We Loved About 2006

Compiled by the Pulse staff / Edited by Mandy Stadtmiller

Published : December 28, 2006 / New York Post

1. Long Island Lolitas

The 19-year-old messing around with Christie Brinkley's husband. The baseball Annie looking for love with Paul Lo Duca. Samantha Cole insisting she was once 19, too. Remember when Winger was big? Yeah, it was like that.

2. Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt brings sexy back

The only hot thing not produced by Timbaland this year.

3. We prefer "Aspartame-rack"

Forget the insane anti-Semitism ("Apocalypto" viewers did!) and revel instead in "Sugart*#s!" - Mel Gibson's delicious ode to the female form. Sorry. It's the seven limoncellos talking.

4. Star Jones Reynolds booted

Barbara Walters proves that dreams really do come true. Now if we could just get rid of the nightmares.

5. Britney Spears' "Dateline" interview

"We're country!" cries a gumsmacking, pre-crotch-flashing Brit. We believe it's called Whitetrashistan.

6. Liquids on a plane

"Girls Next Door," please place your boobies in the plastic bin. Thanks.

7. Daniel Craig's swim trunks

Thanks for the big double O.

8. "Guitar Hero 2"

Establishes itself as the greatest game in the history of video games ever, including all possible games that might heretofore be invented at undetermined points of time extending into the infinite future. This point is non-negotiable.

9. Whitney leaves Bobby

Does this mean crack is still wack?

10. The average female voice falls 23Hz since 1945

Scientists credit environment, genetics and more professional women. We blame Rosie.

11. Smoochin' Putin kissing that kid's belly

More delicious than a shrimp tempura roll with a side of polonium-210.

12. Catfights

It's "Paw & Order" as undercover kitty Fred takes down illegal vet (awww, he's got a wittle badge). See also: "Meow Mix Reality Show," "Flavor of Love," "The View."

13. Not being a lesbian

Oprah straighter than ever when she and super-besty Gayle take a road trip across the United States, share underwear. What a fun heterosexual whim!

14. Black nail polish

A $15 bottle of Chanel "Black Satin" nail polish goes wild on eBay, despite looking virtually indistinguishable from Chanel's "Vamp" nail polish, which elicited similar hysteria upon its release in 1994. Crazy Goths.

15. Uniqlo in N.Y.C.

Cashmere, cashmere, cashmere - for under $100. We didn't believe in love at first sight until we visited this Japanese export, but now we're in deep.

16. Snakesonablog.com

We have had it with these snakes on this motherf#@*ing blog! You mean there was a motherf#@*ing movie, too?

17. Ill-advised tattoos

Marc Jacobs' porn-star boyfriend gets branded, then dumped. Didn't he know he would only last the fall season?

18. Volkswagen car crash commercials

Scaring the crap out of us with their car-comes-out-of-nowhere ads. Maybe downloading it to the video iPod to kill time on the FDR wasn't the best idea, but c'mon, nobody's perfect.

19. "Warm Up the Virgins"

Is it the death of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi - or just another night at the Jude Law household?

20. Darling Knicky

The good news is you don't have to be a fat-cat Goldman guy to get a seat at the Garden anymore. The bad news is, once you get a ticket, you'll have to sit through the game.

21. Getting trapped in the Roosevelt Island tram

Still better than living on Roosevelt Island.

22. Spider-Man unmasked

Oh for Pete's sake. As part of Marvel's "Civil War," Peter Parker - who's kept his super identity secret since the 1960s - reveals to the world that he's Spider-Man. Kirsten Dunst immediately leaves him seven messages.

23. David Gest's sexual preferences

Allegedly "Shake my penis, make sure it feels good." "Wash it in hot water." And "Dip it in chocolate fudge." It was that last one that made Liza balk.

24. Julia Roberts on Broadway

Sure, the show sucked - but if you closed your eyes and pretended she was that same sassy streetwalker we fell in

love with in so many years ago . . . Yeah, it still sucked.

25. Mannies

Someone had to take care of Britney's baby. But who's gonna drive the car?

26. Jessica Biel's ass

They say there are no atheists in foxholes. Or among anyone who's seen this ass.

27. Pluto downgraded

Now considered a "dwarf planet." Sing it with us, "It takes diff'rent planets, it takes diff'rent planets to move the world!"

28. Usher in "Chicago"

The hip-hop "Chicago" newbie turns the Ambassador Theatre into the House of Usher; fainting, huge box office ensues. Next up, Derek Jeter in "Mamma Mia!"

29. Slow boat to China

Jack gets whacked! In a gasp-inducing finale to its latest season, "24" winds up with rival agents capturing supercop Jack Bauer on the slow boat to China. Worst of all, there's a cougar in his cabin.

30. Cheesy bites pizza

Cheese-filled bread ringing a pepperoni pizza: 360 calories a slice, one third of it from fat. Take with a morning-after

obesity pill.

31. B is the new A

Sure, the plot of French director Pierre Morel's "District B13" isn't much for originality, but the film includes some of the most crazy kinetic action sequences and stunts ever. Did he just jump over a speeding car? Why yes he did.

32. Connie Chung sings

And to think Rosie O'Donnell is the one apologizing for insulting Asian people.

33. All apologies

Mel Gibson, Michael Richards, Danny DeVito, Andy Dick, Rosie O'Donnell. So many Afro-Americans, so little time.

34. Chanel Coco Cabas

Hottest handbag of the year (from $995 to $1,595). The PS3 for people, you know, who aren't nerds.

35. Bimbo summit

The fury of the Brit Pack - Lohan, Spears and Hilton - becomes a modern-day "Scared Straight." What's a girl looking for a positive vaginal role model to do?

36. Sidekick 3

CrackBerry, schmackberry. The freshly pimped-out Sidekick 3 helps true geeks be so much more than "adequite."

37. "I haven't had a drink in a week!"

. . . and boy, is Lindsay Lohan thirsty.

38. Kiki and Herb

How great was it to see everybody's favorite cabaret act Kiki and Herb finally make it to Broadway and play to the bluehaired set? A short run, but the point is they made it.

39. "Krrish"

Yeah, yeah, Hollywood blockbusters, we know. But the first Bollywood comic-book superhero movie, "Krrish," makes this summer's "Superman Returns" even more forgettable - if such a thing is possible.

40. Bangs

Have their biggest year since William Hung. From left, Mischa Barton, Nelly Furtado and Gwen Stefani all do their best impersonation of "Dumb & Dumber."

41. Madonna

Completely eradicating problems of health care, poverty and malnutrition - one adorable little African baby at a time.

42. "Honey, I blew up the building"

The divorce doc blows up his townhouse, himself. See, there's never a slutty Long Island teenager around when you need one the most.

43. Sweet naughty bits

Tom Ford makes us love our bodies, ourselves again by releasing a fragrance that smells, intentionally, of crotch. Oddly, called "Black Orchid," not "Chelsea."

44. $55 Mac 'n' Cheese

At Graydon Carter's newly renovated Waverly Inn. He's apparently cutting the cheese powder with coke.

45. Manu Chao

Jaded New Yorkers show that they aren't too cool to dance during the ethereal Manu Chao show at Prospect Park. The music keeps going and going, and wow.

46. Can't buy me leg!

The divorce smackdown of the century. Heather Mills vs. Paul McCartney vs. How The Hell Did You Manage to F- - - Up Your Marriage to a Beatle?

47. Facehunter

While the city's fashion-obsessed rave about the New York street style captured on Thesartorialist.com, this year's new Facehunter.blogspot.com - kept by an ex-pat living in Paris - showcases truly unexpected looks that have a far greater chance of trickling up to the runway.

48. Jose Reyes

The smiling Met - doing just about anything was . . . damn. Feel free to contact us with your opinion about this one, Jose.

49. Jessica Joffe's diary

Socialite/Banana Republic model/Ryan Adams paramour/ex-Observer scribe Joffe keeps a hilariously ungrammatical diary for Glamour. She makes such nonsensical pronouncements, as "the pieces hovered around the body poised for their apotheosis" (Vera Wang) while sucking up to designers like the boys behind Proenza Schouler ("as talented as they are charming"). Sign her up for next Fashion Week!

50. Borat

Cultural Learnings of Kid Rock For Make Benefit Glorious Split of Pam Anderson Marriage.

51. "Ugly Betty"

If you didn't fall in love with the braces-wearing heroine and all of the show's silly camp, you didn't have a heart. And that's just sad, Anna Wintour. That's just sad.

52. The roach brooch

The year's hot accessory (if you couldn't afford a black baby) - a living, Swarovski-encrusted cockroach. Perfect for Naomi Campbell, because she's indestructible, as well.

53. Charlize Theron's bow dress

Blocking views of hundreds at the Oscars. Tie a ribbon around your finger - never wear this.

54. PhotoShopping Katie Couric

Good night, and good luck with that.

55. Cruise-Holmes wedding

Every time a Scientologist weds, an illegitimate baby gets her wings! Somewhere, imprisoned on a mountaintop, Xenu is proud.

56. Bent like Beckham

Victoria Beckham, possibly the most unstylish woman in the world, offers style advice in her new book, "That Extra Half-an-Inch," which is mocked mercilessly. Great gag gift for the fashionista in your life.

57. Cheap Monday jeans

Stretchy and skinny and perfect, Cheap Monday jeans ring up for only $65 at Barneys, proving once again that End Times really aren't that bad.

58. Tara Reid's makeover

Suddenly, we feel the urge to get very drunk.

59. Dateline's "To Catch a Predator"

Still waiting for the John Mark Karr edition.

60. Stephen Colbert

Media Person of the Year, light saber king and ultimate bear warrior, he proves that one gleeful note goes a long, long way.

61. "The Emperor's Children"

Claire Messud's fourth novel tackles wry young New York in all its spoiled, privileged glory. So much fun - and not like you at all!

62. Meryl Streep in "The Devil Wears Prada"

Speaking of projectile tongues, "The Devil Wears Prada" - with a magnificent Meryl Streep - proves far more entertaining on the screen than on the page. Now, if someone would just wake that kid from "Entourage."

63. "The Holiday"

It's almost as if scientists worked in a lab to come up with a mathematical equation for everything in the world that would appeal to women. Jude Law? Check. Cozy English cottage decked out in chintz? Check. Bridget Jonesstyle singletons? Check, check. Jack Black's sense of humor? Check. Sex with Jude Law? Check. L.A. mansion? Check. Jude Law being whimsical? Check. Interior design porn and great bone structure = two hours of pure joy.

64. David Blaine nearly drowning

What a girl.

65. Trader Joe's

The firebombing, the self-immolation, the pitchforks, the knives . . . who can forget this year's massive riots over Three-Buck Chuck?

66. HeadOn

Apply directly to forehead . . .apply directly to forehead . . .

67. Leapin' lizards!

Timed tickets to the reptile exhibit at the American Museum of Natural History only cost $21. Seeing those projectile tongues close up behind glass? Priceless.

68. Cheerleader bashing

Literally reaches new highs with "Heroes." Save the time slot, save the world.

69. Cougar hunting

Younger men on the prowl for older women. Sorry, Shiloh. Maybe in another 40 years.

70. J.K. Rowling at Radio City

J.K. Rowling receives rock-star reception when she answers eager fans' questions. And now that we know the name of the next installment - "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" - let the bloody good spoiler alerts begin.

71. McChoices

Drs. McDreamy, McSteamy and McIjustthrewupinmymoutha littlebit sizzle up the McScreen! OMG, you so TiVoed that.

72. Wii damage

You wait for Wii. You fling Wii. You end up on Wiihaveaproblem.com. Somehow justice is served.

73. Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong

With all the couples that got divorced, this one was our rock.

74. Kirstie Alley in a bikini

See also: Temporary blindness.

75. Battle of the anorexics!

Nicole Richie kicks celeb-clonemaker and starvicist Rachel Zoe to the curb - with a MySpace blind item. Blog revenge doesn't get any better, lettucecup. Shut up, girls. You're both fat.